Just some pictures I really like!
One day my creative self will come out and my outer appearance will match my inner random, eclectic heart.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I do have a lighter side! Mmm clothes! Fashion!
Just some pictures I really like!
One day my creative self will come out and my outer appearance will match my inner random, eclectic heart.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Living the questions
"I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..." (rainer maria rilke)
My best friend gave me a magnet with the above quote printed on it years ago. She knows me well! I think I actually laughed when she gave it to me because it is so obvious that I like answers "now". But she gave it with good intentions and this magnet is one of my most special possessions. Slowly, very slowly, I've become a little more patient. It has taken a lot but when your world is turned upside down and you realize you do not have control it gets a little easier to be patient. One reason I think, at least for me, is that I don't like to make plans and then have them change so patience and living the questions comes in the form of me not making stringent plans and have life mapped out. I forget sometimes though and have to struggle for a moment then I hit a brick wall and read my magnet again,.... and again. =) And truly, when I just relax and am patient and live the questions there I find so much more peace and fulfillment in life than I could with simply being given the answers.
I've been trying to live the questions lately. One of those being about my career. I spent about 500 hours or so doing my school preceptorship with the best physician and NP in gyn/oncology. I loved it. I'm sure that sounds weird to many because oncology has the connotation of sadness but there is an intense relationship a provider in oncology has with patients and the joys are incredible. I'm sure you have heard it said that the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy. Well that is oncology and I like the depth of it and the challenge of it. So it seemed that was where my path was going but graduating did not bring about an oncology position. It did take me deeper into obstetrics, the other end of the spectrum. I have been looking for a job and finally took a position in an ob/gyn practice. Yah! I have a job. But I won't be caring for OB or oncology patients, I will have GYN patients. I'm not upset honestly, it's almost funny to me. At the same time I know there is a much bigger picture to all this and this job is not the end of the road, I'm just pulling out of the driveway on a long and exciting adventure.
My new position is in Fayetteville, GA, just south of Atlanta. We will move the first weekish =) of March and I will start my job March 14.
My best friend gave me a magnet with the above quote printed on it years ago. She knows me well! I think I actually laughed when she gave it to me because it is so obvious that I like answers "now". But she gave it with good intentions and this magnet is one of my most special possessions. Slowly, very slowly, I've become a little more patient. It has taken a lot but when your world is turned upside down and you realize you do not have control it gets a little easier to be patient. One reason I think, at least for me, is that I don't like to make plans and then have them change so patience and living the questions comes in the form of me not making stringent plans and have life mapped out. I forget sometimes though and have to struggle for a moment then I hit a brick wall and read my magnet again,.... and again. =) And truly, when I just relax and am patient and live the questions there I find so much more peace and fulfillment in life than I could with simply being given the answers.
I've been trying to live the questions lately. One of those being about my career. I spent about 500 hours or so doing my school preceptorship with the best physician and NP in gyn/oncology. I loved it. I'm sure that sounds weird to many because oncology has the connotation of sadness but there is an intense relationship a provider in oncology has with patients and the joys are incredible. I'm sure you have heard it said that the deeper the sorrow the greater the joy. Well that is oncology and I like the depth of it and the challenge of it. So it seemed that was where my path was going but graduating did not bring about an oncology position. It did take me deeper into obstetrics, the other end of the spectrum. I have been looking for a job and finally took a position in an ob/gyn practice. Yah! I have a job. But I won't be caring for OB or oncology patients, I will have GYN patients. I'm not upset honestly, it's almost funny to me. At the same time I know there is a much bigger picture to all this and this job is not the end of the road, I'm just pulling out of the driveway on a long and exciting adventure.
My new position is in Fayetteville, GA, just south of Atlanta. We will move the first weekish =) of March and I will start my job March 14.
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