.
We are also rounding the second time around Luke's due date, October 18 (which "ironically" is the St.Luke's feast day in the Catholic church....Thank you God for special things like that)
We have looked forward to getting pregnant again. There's obviously been lots of different emotions on the road here and I've been curious as to what emotions the pregnancy will bring. I haven't been a basket case but definitely had lots of thoughts and emotions, which I typically deal with by myself in my car. I've feared that I won't disconnect this child from Luke but I think I've resolved that. Having gotten to hold Luke and have his pictures I think helps with this. I always have Luke's feet picture out but yesterday I got out his album, another picture and a stuffed animal that Tony and I bought when I was pregnant. I need to see the recognition of my son and then when this next one comes along, his or her recognition, side by side as my two - separate - children. I've also feared I won't love this one as much because I still want Luke but again just like I can love both my parents and siblings equally but different I will get past this fear as well.
The first trimester is a weird one, you can't feel the baby, you don't look pregnant, you just get to be in a constant hangover state - but without the "stories" from the night before. We had an US last week with our amazing, wonderful MFM OB doc in Nashville, Dr. Carroll. Of course there's not a lot to see but everything measured perfect where it should and the sac and such all looked textbook for our dates. It was nerve racking, part of me wanting to put it off because as long as we didn't know anything I could believe everything was great. Now we know it is and so now I'm nervous that what if that was our one picture of this child and he/she's not there next time. Logic tells me all is well, I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm emotional but emotions like to play tricks. I've taken some anti-nausea/vomiting medicine a couple of times as I don't think my patients would appreciate me "unloading" my contents on them but each time I'm ready for the medicine to wear off so I can feel those pregnancy symptoms....weirdo! =)
2 Chronicles 7:3 NIV
...and they worshiped and gave thanks to the LORD, saying, “He is good; his love endures forever.” - in good times and in the worst times, He is good and His love endures.
...and they worshiped and gave thanks to the LORD, saying, “He is good; his love endures forever.” - in good times and in the worst times, He is good and His love endures.
