An update

We are all doing well here in Atlanta. Baby Hirsch is growing...well hopefully if he's not then I have problem  because I'm definitely growing!! I think he had the hiccups the other day which is an interesting and funny feeling! I don't feel as "connected" to this little guy as much as  I would like. I know I'm being more cautious with my excitement and with thinking of the future, not that we aren't excited or not thinking of the  future but it's  with caution. I am trying to enjoy each day with him, living in the here and now, and of this pregnancy because I know it could be taken at any moment. We haven't decided on a name yet, I"m not sure why if we just haven't found  the right one or if that makes him so much more real. I would like a name, I think I'm ready, I'm ready for that connection. Putting a name to something or someone solidifies its existence, creates a relationship. 

We are moving into a new place  in a  few weeks, it's a little house with enough room for the  grandparents...and cousins  and  friends to come visit =) And we've decided  to sign a year lease.  As much as I want to be  back in Nashville the thought of being somewhere that we like and have somewhat a  routine going is a  good settled feeling, something I've been wanting. The obvious  - I'll be able  to focus on this pregnancy and the little guy when he  gets here, and Tony and I learning to be parents together, and I think with us having some "normalacy" I will have the mental capacity and clarity to really consider the road I want to go down as a nurse practitioner - I like my job but I don't have a long term plan right now and need to be thinking of that. I will say I feel like  I am so far from where I was regarding my ability to be patient with  life...and it's nice. Not to say I wouldn't like some things right now but I am learning to enjoy the journey and the peace that comes with walking, sometimes waiting versus my old habit of jumping from thing to thing.

I am 24 weeks this week. Next week I'll be 25 weeks. Luke  passed when I was 25 weeks so it's a tender  place to be in these  weeks. Then from there is unknown territory, the third trimester! And baby showers and  really getting big. It's exciting and scary at the same time.  I'm worried it's going to go by too fast - either  by getting cut off too early or just by my being busy it's going to sneak  by and I feel that "jumping" habit wanting to sneak back in. I'm not going to let it, life is always  better when it's  taken day by day.