Pregnancy post

So I haven't posted in some time. Not that there hasn't been anything going on! Life is so busy. I am working on reorganizing and re-prioritizing, throwing the unnecessary out-literally and figuratively....I'm planning a yardsale for this Saturday. Having a baby in the house and choosing to parent in a very hands on, natural, hippie dippie way some might say has changed our pace of life. I absolutely love being a mom! I feel like I am doing exactly what I was created to do when I am in wife and mommy mode .its not easy for anyone and we definitely have not had the smoothest ride with a tongue tied colicky baby to scabbed nipples and a breast yeast infection that caused all sorts of pain. And I wanted so badly to be back in Nashville where I knew who to call and had people personally and professionally that I trusted. I did find some help her but it took a while and I truly lost at least half my brain cells with delivery! Things finally settled at about 8 weeks or so, right before I had to go back to work. So I felt like I only had about a week of being settled in my new mommy role. I also wanted to be in Nashville to celebrate with all our family and friends therewho had rejoiced and cried with us in Luke's life and death. I was really homesick!

I know people read this who have not lost a child and I thank you and hope you find encouragement here for other areas of your life. I started this blog to hopefully help others who have lost a child because I found great encouragement from others blogs. I don't know if I would have survived as well without the blog of my now dear friend Amanda. I had hoped to write more during my pregnancy as she had but I felt that I would communicate more clearly in a summary vs more day by day. So I didn't mean to wait quite this long and have so much to summarize so I'll post in in a few separate posts. This way it's not as overwhelming to myself or you. I'll start with the here and now.

Paul Joseph is 4 1/2 months old and growing like a weed! We are exclusive breastmilkers! I love it!im so proud! And so thankful for a husband and family and job that support us in that. ....he's nursing right now actually! I am working four days a week. I want to focus on the positive so I'll just say that I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to go to four days and able to take it. And im also thankful for the daycare that puts Paul Joseph where I can "take him lunch" every day. Tony is an awesome dad! I love seeing them together and you can tell as Paul is understanding and interacting more and more how they are growing more in love all the time. I think so much about everything I say and do now, it's crazy. I'm not the most confident person which may come as a surprise to some, I can put on a good game face, but I'm not really so I read "how to" and self help books a lot. I am forev indebted to maylim bialik for writing beyond the sling, her words provided wisdom, affirmation, and hope that I desperately needed. Also incredibly helpful has been dr sears and dances book you are your child's first teacher. Please don't mistake that our families have been huge supporters and teachers,I just needed some outside /objective confirmation. As a. Ursei ha thrown"facts" from both sides of every angle and I have to do my own research so that's how I view these books. And I highly recommend them!